|Ben and his marble race.|
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
My oldest weans.
I keep a small blog (ha, yep, smaller than this one) for family and friends about the happenings of the boys. I posted the following post on it as my preschooler has weaned. I was planning on writing a separate post about extended breastfeeding and weaning for here, but I've decided I really like this post, and so I'm going to post it here and leave it at that!
It might be cheating for NaBloPoMo since I posted this on another blog already, but I'm not following the rules anyway! I'm aiming for 30 posts on each of my two blogs by the end of the month, but I'm clearly not making one happen every day. More coming soon!
Ben and his marble race.
Benjamin is done nursing. He announced before bed on Tuesday that he was done nursing and wasn't ever gong to nurse again. He said it rather grumpily after he didn't get his way with something. I told him that was fine, but that he shouldn't say it because he was grumpy. I suggested that if he was ready to be done that maybe he wanted to nurse one last time that night. He immediately perked up and decided this was the plan. So he nursed.
Now, we've been talking about weaning for some time. We've asked him if he was ready to stop. No! We've asked how long we would nurse until. Forever! We've asked why he wanted to keep nursing. Because I like it. We've talked about there being a day when he would stop. We've talked about the day coming sooner. We didn't push. We did tell him that when he was ready to be all done, we would celebrate with something special. We talked about maybe when he turned 4. He adjusted to that idea, and he knew it was a few months away.
Then came the marble race. He saw a marble race in a store and fell in love. He wanted one. We told him we could put it on his Christmas list. He obsessed over it. He wanted it and wanted it now. We had multiple nights of crying as he yelled that we'd never ever get him a marble race because we'd said we couldn't manifest one at that very moment. Oh the life of a 3 year old. We talked about getting it for Christmas. And then one day he was asking about what special thing he'd get or get to do when he stopped nursing, and I suggested that maybe that's when he could get his marble race. He thought this was a great idea. I went to work looking for one so I'd have it when he was ready.
A few weeks went by. I finally found one on woot.com that I wanted after having already ordered a different one from hearthsong.com. Oh well, it can get returned. I ordered it, I knew it would come in a few weeks. I was in no rush. Neither was Ben. I felt good about that because I didn't want him to wean for the marble race. It wasn't a bribe. It was a celebration of the next step when he was ready to take it.
So when he told me that night, he was done. I said ok. We nursed. We went to sleep. He didn't ask the next day. He accidentally nursed the morning after that as I in my sleep deprived stupor offered and he half asleep accepted. He awoke upset that he was nursing when he said he was done. I told him that he could if he wanted, and he said no, he was all done. He was just sleepy and wanted to be snuggled. So we snuggled.
The deal was after 5 days of no nursing, we would get his marble race. It had arrived on Friday, and yesterday marked day 5. So this morning, I told him the good news (he hadn't asked since about the marble race), that if he was really done nursing, I had his special marble race for him. He was so delighted. We talked a little, and he said he was happy to be done nursing because he still got to snuggle and he didn't need to nurse anymore.
His marble race is more like a ball track, but it's the same idea. And he loves it. We played alllll day putting it together in different ways and sending the balls down. I am proud to have provided the best nutrition - physically and emotionally - for my child for 3 years, 10 months, and 1 day. And I am proud to have watched him wean himself with some gentle encouragement from us. (This also marked the end of tandem nursing for me, at 20 months to the day!)