I got pointed towards a great new blog, Just.Be.Enough, when a blogger I follow Robin from Farewell, Stranger guest posted there. Robin's post, On High Standards and Hating Myself struck a chord with me as a recovering perfectionist. After looking around at the rest of the blog, I fell in love with this post, 37 days.
...The truth is that I am not a perfect parent, nor do I ever expect to be. I am the best parent I can possibly be, or at least I try (on most days). There are some days that I know I am not at my best, and yet, that is the best I can muster in that moment. And you know what? That has to be ok. That has to be enough...Go read it. I'll wait.
There are so many people that need to hear this message of being enough. Knowing that you are enough empowers you to just be. To be present. To be happy. To be aware. To be loved. To be everything you are meant to be and already are.
I have a two year old son who still loves to nurse. He realizes he is sleepy around bedtime and naptime, climbs onto my lap, and says "mommy nurse me, please". It is the sweetest phrase to hear, and while sometimes I say not yet or hold on or I feel annoyed at having to stop what I am doing, that all quickly melts away. It melts away when we climb the stairs to our family bed and he crawls to his spot waiting for me. It melts away when no matter how upset, anxious, exhausted, or overstimulated he is, he curls into my arm and latches on. In that moment, we both breathe a sigh of relief and contentment as we melt together. It doesn't matter that we've been fighting all morning and I have no idea how to teach him the things I need to teach him (like you can't throw your wooden car at the television set repeatedly). In that moment, I know that I am enough. I know that I am everything he needs. No matter my parenting failures, my short temper and my tired days, in that place and time, I am meeting that little boy's every need, and together we are finding forgiveness, grace, love, and connection.
It's in that moment, that I truly believe that I can just. be. enough.