Friday, May 25, 2012

6 Week Goal Check-in

Okay I skipped last Friday’s check-in, not because I gained weight (although I did), but because life was busy and I had nothing substantial to say and I didn’t want to post a 3 line filler post. So here’s a 2 week recap.
Last Friday. + 1.2
Today’s weigh-in: +.7
Yes this is not what I intended, but I still have a very small net loss for the four weeks so far.
Total +/- so far: – 2.1 lbs
It’s not what I planned, and I have plenty of reasons (not excuses…). I’m working on those but I don’t have anything helpful or  interesting to share about that right now.
Instead, I want to share some non-scale victories,
*Ran in a mudrun last Saturday with no pain, and while I was out of shape, I was able to finish 3.1 miles of trail and obstacles!
*Ran my first miles since February (wow?!?) on the road on Thursday. 2 hard miles. No knee pain with the brace. I have lost a lot of endurance, but I was running! And while my effort level was way high, I was at least able to average sub 11 minute miles.
*I started counseling a few weeks ago, which I have been meaning/wanting/needing to do for a year.
*Thanks to preparing for a houseguest, my house is pretty darn clean! My hope is to maintain it. Oh yea, and deal with the garage and the basement but those are for another day.
*The garden is IN! And our patio makeover is coming together (cannot wait to post pictures of that!)

So I’m celebrating forward motion, and continuing to move forward when it comes to the silly scale too. Enjoy a wonderful weekend and celebrate the forward motion in your life!

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Mom enough? Thoughts from a Lutheran mom.

I’ve been a tad overwhelmed by my own reaction to the Time Magazine cover. There’s a lot to it between the cover photo, the “Are You Mom Enough” tagline, the articles which pretty much boil Attachment Parenting down to extremism based on co-sleeping, breastfeeding, and babywearing, and Attachment Parents as crazy mothers who worship their guru Dr. Sears. And then there’s the reactions. There’s the people sharing their disgust with extending breastfeeding, threatening calls to child protective services, and proclaiming that mothers who do this are putting their own mental health issues on their children. It’s all pretty hard to swallow.


Are you mom enough? Am I mom enough?

This is what I know. I live in a both/and world. I’m a good Lutheran who embraces my place as sinner and saint, broken and whole, gathered and sent. On my own, in my brokenness, in my human imperfection, I know I could never be enough. Just like I could never be deserving of God’s great love and forgiveness, I could never be enough to deserve these children God has given to me and I could never be mom enough to do this gift justice.

I mess up all the time. I make bad choices, I lose my temper, and I am a bad example. I raise my voice when I shouldn’t. I don’t provide the most nutritious food because sometimes I’m just lazy. My kids watch more television than I’d like, and sometimes I hide behind a computer screen to take a break from having to engage. Some days I forget that I’m not supposed to swear like a truck driver in their presence, and they go to preschool with an… interesting vocabulary. My faults are magnified a hundred times under the stress and exhaustion of parenting – my temper, my anxiety, my impatience, and my distraction.

But I am loved and forgiven. I love my kids fiercely. I cuddle them at all hours of the night, and yes I can’t remember what life was like when I wasn’t breastfeeding…. it’s been more than 5 years. I show them what it means to be sorry, to ask for forgiveness, and to forgive. I humbly attempt to be better, to be mom enough every day. I know I can’t get there on my own, but my kids deserve the best I can give. Together, my boys, my husband, and I explore what it means to be a family, to be parent and child, to be children of God together. Sometimes it’s loud and crazy, other times it’s warm and cuddly, and almost always it’s overwhelming it in its intensity, but we get through each day with the help of God.

It’s God’s grace, love, and forgiveness offered abundantly to myself and my children that assures me that I am mom enough. I am exactly what my boys need, and God gave us each other. We stumble and we fall, but when the kids and I kneel at the Lord’s Table to receive Holy Communion from my husband, the pastor, we are whole.

I am mom enough. It just has nothing to do with breastfeeding or attachment parenting. It has to do with God’s overwhelming love and grace given to me and to you not because we’ve earned it or because we’re enough, but purely and simply gifted to us. And in response to this amazing gift, we are called to serve, love deeply, live compassionately, and forgive freely. And that’s not only how I am called to parent, to mother, but how I am called to be in the world, to be in this tribe of motherhood. We can make a difference in the lives of each other and our children by loving deeply, living compassionately and forgiving freely. We can change the world by responding to the hurts and struggles of others with empathy. By weeping together in the face of struggle and defeat and dancing together with joy on this journey, we can create a kinder world where our children can grow.

Maybe it’s time to change the question from “am I mom enough” or “are you mom enough” to “how can we help everyone mom know that she IS mom enough”? Perhaps it’s time we embrace the freedom that comes with the fact that we’ll never be mom enough on our own but only through God’s grace so that we can stop judging or feeling judged based on a scale of perfection?

In our imperfection we discover the sometimes unbelievable gift of God’s unconditional love, and in that discovery we are empowered to share that love with our children. That’s enough for me.

Friday, May 11, 2012

2 weeks down, 4 weeks to go!


This is going to be quick because my husband and a backyard fire are calling my name.


This week’s weigh-in results

- 1.3 lbs

That means a total loss of 3.9lbs.

To be honest, I’m not sure I deserved the loss so while I’ll take it I know that I need to focus next week. My activity was better than the week before, but it could still improve. Physical therapy sucks up most of my free time to work out, so I need to get more activity in on non physical therapy days plus keep up with my home rehab exercises.

But, the big thing this week was FOOD! It was just a bad week for all sorts of reason including poor planning and emotional eating. So this week I’m making a plan on Sunday for the week and will do my best to stick to it!


This week’s activity…

Friday: 30 minutes Home Rehab Exercises, 1.5 mile rocky hike with the family

Saturday: Work Day @ Camp = Carrying large pieces of wooden bunk beds all over and playing with power tools. A bunch of walking.

Sunday: Nothing unless you count throwing multiple temper tantrums because everyone I knew was running except me.

Monday: 60 minutes yoga class, 90 minutes Physical therapy

Tuesday: 45 minutes physical therapy

Wednesday: 45 minutes spin class, 1 mile ran – 10:33, 1.4 mile walk – 21 minutes, 15 minutes home rehab exercises

Thursday: 15 minutes home rehab exercises

Have a great weekend! I hope to be back this weekend with some thoughts on the Time magazine cover before it’s totally old news, but I don’t have much time to write so we’ll just have to see what happens.

Friday, May 4, 2012

News from the Scale and the Juicer

Last week I declared my goal to lose 11 lbs before I turn 30 in 6 weeks. As promised, here is my week 1 update.

-2.6 lbs

Woo hoo! I’m happy to be down 2.6 lbs. This week was a little bit of a strange week. I did hit up physical therapy 3 times, which includes a decent amount of sweating. One therapist in particular makes me sweat a lot. Ummm, excuse me! I’m talking about all the exercises he makes me do! Seriously, he had me working for nearly an hour and forty-five minutes the other day before torturing me with manual work on my muscles……. I didn’t do great on rehab at home, but iced a lot and did some of my stretches but not enough of my strength. I didn’t make it to the gym at all, so that will definitely change next week.

I did all my rehab exercises today, starting the week off right.


Yea, the view sure didn’t hurt. It was a gorgeous day, and the whole family was hanging outside so I figured I might as well enjoy it.

At the same time, this week we spent a lot of time learning about, making, and drinking JUICE! I’ve heard so many people talking about the film, Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead that I couldn’t wait to watch it. I finally grabbed some time folding laundry and was unexpectedly joined by my husband and both kids for the whole movie! If you haven’t seen the film, it’s all about Joe Cross’s journey from just what the title of the movie said to health through juice fasting. It chronicles a few other people’s journeys as well. It was interesting to learn about the benefits of juicing. I knew it was good for you, but I was amazed that you could really only drink juice for that amount of time and feel fabulous (barring medical issues, of course).

fat sick

We’d bought a juicer a week or two earlier and had been enjoying juicing daily. Of course, after watching the movie I immediately said (mostly joking), “hey, you want to do a juice fast?!”, to my husband and was shocked when he responded “Sure!” Wait, what? Apparently, he really likes juice.

I’m still nursing my younger son at sleeptime so I knew I couldn’t strictly follow a fast, but let’s just say I consumed a lot of juice for 3 days. My husband and my mom stuck it out for a full 3 and 4 days respectively with nothing but juice and felt pretty good after the first day or two of detox symptoms. Interestingly enough, my weight was the same on Sunday before we began the intense juicing as it was on Friday after we gone back to our normal amount of juicing for a day or two.  So while, I flooded my body with some awesome nutrients, the juicing wasn’t the reason behind my weight loss this week. That might have been different if I was truly fasting, but it wasn’t my intent especially while breastfeeding. In the meantime, we’ll continue to juice daily to get as many vegetables in as possible!

Do you juice? Do your kids like it?

Mine love it because they are never allowed to drink anything but water! Fresh juice is an amazingly tasty treat for them….Right up there with green smoothies.

Here’s to another week of nourishing my body, getting stronger, and seeing the scale go DOWN!!

How are you doing with your goals?

Thursday, May 3, 2012

100 miles.

That’s our goal. 100 miles.


It started on one of our first hikes for the spring. We weren’t very good at getting out on the trail this winter despite it being pretty mild, and Ben and I were discussing how much we were enjoying hiking again. We talked about how we should do this more often. And my mind started working… I wondered what I could do to help us be more consistent about getting into the woods. We spend a ton of time outside both at home, at friends’ homes, and at the boys’ school. We’ve also been logging our fair share of playground hours. During the summer, we spend a lot of time at the lake. But, sometimes hiking gets a little lost in all that and yet it’s one of our favorite things to do as a family. It’s a place where we can quiet the outside noise (literal and figurative) and just be together. We explore, wander, and even get lost together. We learn together about trees, plants, birds, and bugs. We snack, laugh, and even sometimes complain together.


A goal. A goal we could tackle together would get us out there. Ben loves to make lists, keep track of things, and celebrate accomplishments (yes, he’s my kid, even at the age of 5).


Hey, Ben, what if we set a goal… to see how many miles we could hike before your birthday… how many do you think we could do?

He thought long and hard about this, and then declared, “One hundred!” His little brother quickly added, “I wanna hike one hundred too!

So there it was: 100 miles. I quickly began doing math in my head deciding if this was the impossible task, and I decided we’d see how it would go. Maybe we’d make it 100 miles in a year total if we didn’t get there by his birthday in January. If it weren’t for winter, we’d be fine. Of course, it’s a goal. It should be a bit of a challenge.But for now, we’ll start logging our miles and tracking our progress.




A few days later as we went out for another hike, I was reminded that we will not simply be logging 100 miles. We will be exploring 100 miles with our whole bodies, with all our senses. We’ll be staring in wonder at bugs and snakes. We’ll be listening for birds and trying to remember what song belongs to which bird. We’ll be picking up rocks and sticks, feeling the earth in our hands. We’ll be watching for the splash and the ripples in the water as we drop stones from a bridge. We’ll be marveling at the way the ‘whirlybirds’ fallen from trees spin when we drop them. It’s going to be quite an adventure!

And when I see my boys tromping through the woods together, only stopping for a moment to hug, well I can’t imagine it gets any better… until my little guy gives his big brother an extra squeeze and tells him “you’re my BEST brother”.


Miles logged:

April 2 – hike to Pinwheel Vista. 3.2 miles

April 12 - AT NY into NJ towards Glenwood Rd – 4.5 miles

April 26 - AT Canal Rd to 94 – 2 miles

April 30 – Appalachian Trail Boardwalk and nearby trail – 1.8miles

TOTAL for APRIL = 11.5.