about *that* mom

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I’m *that* mom. In my very first post, I explained my choice to embrace my *that mom*-ness while refusing to compare myself to any other *that* moms. Some things are different than they were in 2009, others are the same.

I’m still *that* mom and I own it. I’m a truth-teller. For years, I’ve been getting emails that say, I didn’t want to comment publicly, but ohmygoodness thank you for your honesty, thank you for keeping it real, thank you for telling my story even though you didn’t know it was. For a long time, I brushed it off. But now, I’ve realized the importance of truth-telling.

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Motherhood is Hard. Life is Hard. When we believe it’s not supposed to be hard or when we believe that we are alone in the Hard, it gets harder. I am not alone, and neither are you.

Photo Credit: Magean Dougherty Photography
I’m the mom to three amazing kids. They are as spirited as they come, and I am trying my best to not crush that spirit. They have unique gifts that come with unique struggles. We all do, don’t we?



One of my kids is transgender. This has made me a fierce advocate for her and the transgender community.

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I’m married to the love of my life and incredibly grateful for that. He is a Lutheran pastor. That makes me a pastor’s wife which is still funny to me. Anyway, if I am *that* mom, he is totally *that* pastor, and of course a little *that* dad, too.

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I am also a seminary-educated church professional. What I do with that varies, but I am active in youth, family, and outdoor ministries.

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I have depression and anxiety. I used to think it was mild. It’s not. I live and learn with it. I truth-tell about it. I repeat, I am not alone and neither are you.

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I run. I get injured. I run some more. Running saved me in so many ways. I’m working hard to get back at it full-strength. It’s a body, mind, and spirit thing for me. It has taught me that I am stronger than I thought.

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I strive to live and parent with love, grace, and courage. My children have taught me empathy and compassion beyond what I was capable. I live in this beautiful place, and I’m a bit of a hippie. Empathy and compassion have led me to a holistic approach to parenting, health, homemaking, and life.

I write about everything. I try to tell it like it is, and sometimes I might be too honest. In the end, I want others to know they are not alone.

Find me on the web: Facebook. Twitter. Pinterest. Instagram.

I was not prepared for the amount of traffic I’ve recently received. I am working on blog updates, but life happens. Welcome to my homey little spot on the internet and forgive the dust, so to speak, as I slowly spiffy it up. I'm so glad you're here.

39 comments:

  1. May I share your blog in our church's newsletter?

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    1. Sure! Thanks for visiting!

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    2. Could I do the same? I'd like to republish an article from it and will provide the web address

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  2. New here and I am so glad to find another kindred in the bloggy world!

    I have a new love of running too (on hold due to a stress fracture) and I am also *that mom... the one who sometimes would rather blog than mother! the one who love to snuggle her children, and the one who needs them to just. back. off.


    So nice to meet you!
    Emily
    www.weakandloved.com

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    1. Nice to meet you! Bummer on the stress fracture. I've been off and on the injured list for a while now. It's SO frustrating!

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  3. Jamie, your young children in church is making the rounds of multiple episcopal churches fb shares, including mine. wonderful piece... thank you for saying it better than I have heard it said!!

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  4. I'd like to reference your blog post on Children in Church in my sermon. I'm reading a chuck of it. I put in your blog url and the date and title of the post. Would you like me to reference anything else? great stuff! glad to have found you!

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  5. I'm reading a portion of your blog post in my Sunday sermon. It's a baptism and seemed especially appropriate. i'd like to reference your post when post my sermon. i've put the blog url, the date and the title of the blog post. Would you like me to put anything else in there? Thanks for writing. great stuff! Glad I found it. =)

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    1. That sounds great! I'm glad it resonated. Peace!

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  6. Hi! I just want to say that I am SO glad I found your blog. I often struggle in the blogger world because I don't fit into a "box." I am also a sometimes crunchy mama, a runner mama, and mama that struggles with anxiety and depression (recently started having panic attacks...). I had two homebirths and am training to become a childbirth educator; I love real food (but can't always afford it); we have backyard chickens; yet, I have a slight addiction to coke zero and oreos. It's great to find another mama that is just okay with who she is, even if that person isn't exactly easy to define by terms the bloggy world is used to ;-).
    http://thiscrazymessylife.com

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    1. I love your description! Glad you found your way here, and I look forward to connecting with your blog. I had a homebirth with my second; it was amazing. And I'm sorry to hear of the panic attacks and struggles, but I can say (quite obviously) you are not alone.

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  7. Hi!
    I'm the Social Media Coordinator and Website Administrator for my church in Faribault, MN. I'd love to be able to share your insights on our webpage (as a blog, credited to you), and on our other social media outlets (also, credited to you!).
    You've hit the nail on the head with your insights, and I'm excited to share this with our congregation!
    Tracy
    admin@firstenglishfaribault.org
    www.firstenglishfaribault.org

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  8. I would very much like to use your blog "Dear Parents with Young Children in Church" to affirm my parents and grandparents who are making an effort to bring their children to church. With the appropriate credits in place is it possible to do this? It was such breath of fresh air to read, been there done that and wish someone had affirmed me on the journey.
    Roberta+
    rwilso@xplornet.com

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    1. Yes, please credit clearly with name of blog and link.

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  9. A friend of mine just shared your "Dear Parents with Young Children in Church" blog post on Facebook. I never heard of your blog before, but I'm totally bookmarking this page! That article was so inspiring and encouraging. Thank you for reminding me what Church is all about. Yes, it's about my walk with Jesus and my relationship with Him (which is still pretty rough with figuring out how to juggle everything - new mommy of a 4 month old) but it's also about being there for others too. It's easy to think "I won't be missed' when staying home seems SO much easier.

    Just wanted to say a quick thank you for that encouragement - definitely needed right now.

    -Desiree

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  10. A friend of mine shared your "Dear Parents with Young Children in Church" post on Facebook. I had never heard of your blog before, but I'm totally bookmarking this now! I just wanted to thank you for sharing that, it was really refreshing to hear. Thank you for reminding me that Church is so much more than just a sermon and my relationship with Christ, but it's also about our relationship with each other too. It's been hard staying motivated to pick my life back up again and stay in the swing of things (new Mommy of a 4 moth old - still getting the hang of things). Definitely something I'll keep in mind during those days when I think "Ah, I won't be missed" when staying home seems so much easier.

    Thank you for the encouragement, totally needed this week.

    -Desiree

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  11. Thank you so much for saying this so clearly. A friend shared it on fb and I re-shared because it spoke to me so much.
    Our pastor read it and would like to include it in our next newsletter. Would that be ok with you? I would be certain to include complete credit and your blog address. ( i have a sister that is a blogger and a lawyer..."stealing" your post would NEVER be ok with me--she's taught me a great deal on this topic)
    Rhonda

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    1. Yes, just please credit with the name of blog and a link.

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  12. Just found you through a friend of mine who shared your last post on facebook! Thank you so much for writing it! The voice in the back of mind telling me that all of the drama on sunday mornings is really, truly worth it seems to be always be getting smaller with ever tantrum or teething episode form my 2 little ones. I SO needed the pep talk, and so did a lot of my friends and family who read it on FB. I'm excited to start keeping up with your fun blog! It's so refreshing to find other women who are passionate about God and theology, but who sometimes just want a flippin' mimosa in the morning ;)

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  13. May I use your article Dear parents with young children in church, in our church bulliten? It was amazing! Thanks for sharing.
    Julie Chitester

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    1. Yes, please credit with blog name and link.

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  14. I'd like to add my request to the others to include your "Parents with Young Children in Church" in our newsletter, along with proper crediting and link. It was marvelous. Thank you.

    Frances Jenkins

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    1. Yes, please credit with blog name and link.

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  15. wow...just found you.....I sent your blog on over to my daughter in law as she has two little ones...love reading about your days and having some laughs....keep on keeping on....

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  16. So I replied on the Courage blog, but as I kept reading your about page and earlier blogs the more I am blown away by how awesome it is to have found your musings. My husband is also a Lutheran pastor (we both grew up as such) and I am also on a gluten free diet. Almost. I'm not yet allergic to it, just intolerant. But I am so aware of how much I'm eating and how stressed I am so that it doesn't become more than a nuisance. I will be praying for you in regards to feeling good with what you're eating and in taking in stride all that being a pastor's wife entails, especially while raising kids! More and more blessings to you and family!

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  17. Please allow me to reprint "Dear Parents with Children in Church" in our church newsletter (cir. 200) I will be sure to include all credits and site for young parents who may be facing similar challenges. Thanking you in advance. Jan Spencer, Evangelism chair, Fox Hill Central United Methodist Church, Hampton, VA

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    1. Please email all republish requests to iamtotallythatmom @ gmail . com

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  18. I would like to also request using "Dear Parents with Children in Church" on our website. I will be sure to include all credits and the site for any parents who feel the same way (I know I have walked in these shoes, too.). Thanks so much for representing all of us "that MOMs" out there! Thanks, Becky Otto, Moderator of Children's Ministry, King's Grant Presbyterian Church, VA Beach, VA

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  19. Thanks for this - may I reproduce it in our church magazine (with credits of course!)?

    with thanks

    Simon Heron (Rev)

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    1. Please email all republish requests to iamtotallythatmom @ gmail . com and include church name and location.

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  20. May I have your permission to reprint your post on children in church in our parish's electronic newsletter? We have an increasing number of young families, and I would like to extend your wisdom (and support) to them. Their anxiety about having their young kids in church is worrisome, even when our older parishioners clearly enjoy the "joyful noise."

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    1. Please email all republish requests to iamtotallythatmom @ gmail . com and include church name and location.

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  21. Hi,
    We would like to reprint your article "Dear Parents" in our Sunday bulletin and possibly in our monthly newsletter. Would that be ok? What would we need to do to reprint your article?
    Thanks!
    Thanks for the article, it was wonderful!

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  22. Looking forward to spending more time with your blog! You're experiences sound very similar to mine- I am an elder's wife and children's ministry director. I've just started blogging about my own parenting "joys" at www.backwardparentingbybrita.com! Please visit!

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  23. Dear *that Mom*

    May I use your letter to parents from the pew in my Church - I will site the source?

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  24. I would like to print and distribute in our church pews a slightly adapted version of your blog, "Dear Parents With Young Children in Church". Would you please email me at dce@calvarychurchpa.com to let me know if you would give me permission to do so? If we have your permission, please also let me know how you would like us to credit you. Thank you so much!

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